Mail Call For the characters in my D&D Game
An Epistle from Brother
(Cousin) Raymond MacPhearson Esq.,
Hand Of Obsidia
Dearest Cousin Slash,
I have no idea whether this letter will find you, well, or otherwise. If you are reading this I have some good news and better news for you. No bad news at all, nope, none, Well, okay maybe a little bit of bad news. We will start with that, the bad news first, which is Cousin #1, that I am no longer the head of “The Family” .... You didn’t know that I was, did you, I know you think that family doesn’t matter, but it does. I get ten percent from everyone, heck even you have been paying me, as Bess always gave me a cut from you, and by me, I mean our Rogues Guild, to whom you do owe quite a few years of back dues, by the by. We are big, bigger than the Freedom Archipelago Teamsters, even.
The good news is that my new position is to be ‘The Hand Of Obsidia,’ I have been chosen by The Goddess herself to become her hand of Justice here in The Old Lands. I’m still the best assassin you never heard of, except that now I wield the vengeance of the goddess. (there is a dynamite benefits package as well of course) Lady Vivaline and I will be visiting with the Frost Giants by the time you read this. We have a regime to topple, and a new one to install. Relinquishing the family reigns usually comes down to a coup, but I’m out Slash, and boyo, here’s the better news, you are in. You are the Don. The Chief Pirate, Thief Emeritus and Assassin of the Realm, as of your reading of this document.
Yours in Obsidia’s tears, Raymond M.
As dictated to Patricia M. Goblinstein, Wife #2 of the Hand Of Obsidia.
Encl: Rogue’s Guild ownership titles, and contracts to be signed in blood at your convenience.
A Fan Letter for Crukas
CRUKAS! is what we used to scream as you tore your enemies limb from limb. Can I call you Hans? Maybe not, I don’t want to be presumptuous. Mister Crukas, I am your number one fan from your Gladiator days. I have many of the souvenir programs from your matches at various colosseums around the Old lands. As you grew in stature in the arena, some of your fans, myself in the lead, formed a Crukas! Fan Club. The only admission was to be your fan. When you were the Champion, at the end, before the rebellion, there were 30 of us “Crukans”. Now there is just me, Lady Gwynefer, and Johnson junior. They are both half orcs, who also are my room mates.
But let me get to the point of my letter Senor Crukas, my friends and I have been trying to locate you for about a year or so, having not much luck, until we heard that you had joined up with that band of Pirates who seem to be making themselves famous, New Landers, if you can believe it, I guess if they are pirates, they would have to New Landers, us Old Landers never see the sea, until we cross it in death.
Ah that point, yes, Commander Crukas, we have raised enough money through our own adventures and schemes, to sponsor you at the newly rebuilt Crystal City arena in the comeback of the Century. The current Champ there has no decent competitors. It’s jobber after endless jobber. We have tested the waters with some nostalgia marketing, and feel you could make yourself, and us richer than any pirate could, with just one show, maybe a weekend cage match.
Waiting for your reply, eagerly
Head of the Hail Crukas Fan Club, and CEO of the Yamamoto entertainment corporation. Encl, find cashier’s bond for 100 platinum pieces as a no strings advance.
A Directive from The Inner Council of The Vax Maruk to: Tannis Vax Maruk, Warden of the Old Lands, and Fire Giant Island
Vax Tannis, it is with a heavy heart that I inform you that your probationary period is over, as the elf you Inherited your mantle from, Vax Maruk Belivor has passed beyond the veil of sleep and into the endless dreams of Elves.
Your work must begin in earnest as soon as you read this letter. If you are not already involved, we need you to do so, and are ready to offer aid, if you can stop whatever madness is going on in the olden Wizard’s Tower.
The cosmic forces being invoked and disturbed in that place are causing an imbalance in the very nature of existence, manifesting in world wide extreme weather, and unnatural storms, plagues, and the very earth itself destroying the life upon it. Chaos is being loosed, and we will need specialized help in the form of some Chaos Druids, who may not seem to come willingly. You have to find a way to communicate with these mad men, and try not to kill them. They hold the key (and the right spells) These men, though none of them are sane. They are powerful, and dangerous, but can be directed if one has a strong hand. Remember to keep telling them to find the key, they will know what to do. Remember: “Find The Key”. You will find them at Midnight Tomorrow at the gates of the Wizard’s tower.
Thank you for your service, and welcome to the bigger picture
Vax Maruk, Vax unto Death
Vax Maruk Gringarian, Inner Council Chair VM
encl. 2 seeking arrows, and two cursed arrows, use with discretion
A letter to Kali
From The Desk
Of Johannes D.
Chief Inquisitor &
Witch Hunter of Groetus
Dearest Kali, I hope you have been able to stave off the Faux inquisition with that help we gave you. If not this letter I guess is moot, but it needs to be written. I trust no one’s ears to tell you this, only my man in his safe delivering it to you. And he knows naught about it, so please give him some silver, (I will reimburse you) and send him home, without a word.
I have only one small thing, that is not such a small thing to tell you, and mayhap be obvious to you, but neither the dragons, nor the toad are what they seem. If at the tower (yes I know where you are headed, bonne chance) you engage either the toad, or any dragon, be wary that they are much more than they seem.
You are I’m sure aware that the whole Tower scenario is a trap to lure yourself and the others of your party into the hand of their various enemies, who interestingly seem to be conspiring all to get to your band of Pirates and Dope pedlars. It’s a mystery, that my Tiefling nose tells me to stand back from. Good luck, and stay mindful, that whatever other game you are onto, there is a game being played around you as well, and each of your fellows.
Hoping this missive finds you
alive or close to it,
Enclosed: find two ‘skeleton keys’